He trusts me. Becoming best friends with a person is hard, it entails almost unconditional acceptance (there is always a line), deep care, a meeting of minds, a compatibility, shared understanding, willingness to listen to the others needs and feelings, also a compassion, and a easiness, conversations that could be endless, a comfort that allows both to speak freely and tease often. And well... hmm.. How do I feel when I’m with him? Right from the beginning, before I knew most, if any of his secrets I felt comfortable speaking my mind. I am pretty confident, at least I try to give that perception, so I guess I usually speak somewhat open and easily, but... It was more then that. He made me feel like an equal.. no superiority, awkwardness, or lack of depth was there to distance me from him. I felt a trust right away. And he has continued to be unequivocally understanding and adoring. I feel almost as if I can do no wrong. Not to say that I am perfect and for him to pretend that I were, would show he was not acting as a friend but a cautious boyfriend or a passion-blind lover. Of course there should always be some caution even with friends, but best of friends must be honest about flaws as well as beauty. He constantly tells me how wonderful and beautiful I am, but he is also willing to share with me the things that bother him. Building a friendship takes years. Of course if we are building our relationship as friends as well as lovers, then it is still in the developing stage, two months old. He is cautious and so am I, but my desire to speak honest even about the ugly and the shocking confessions of unpleasant things is new to me, it is powerful, unexpected and sort of startling. I felt I wanted to speak about things even if I thought they might upset him. No matter what is brought up, understanding and smiles seem to follow soon after. One of my favorite moments I had with him (there are many) was after making love. I don’t remember what caused it to start but I began to laugh uncontrollably, this made him start up. My stomach was hurting and my eyes were tearing from laughing so hard but it felt wonderful, safe, happy, and perfect. The fact that laughing is okay at such an intimate moment made it feel so much more genuine. We are both very physically attracted to each other and that is greatly enhanced by the fact that we are becoming best friends. Friendship allows for a depth that romantic relationships many times cannot reach. A friendship can last a lifetime, whereas a majority of the time romantic relation or affairs are not strong enough to overcome obstacles, faults of either lover or merely time itself.
